A Shared Sorrow
by Nentikobe
Summary: After losing Aerith and possibly Tseng to the hands of Sephiroth, Cloud and Elena have a run-in at Icicle Inn. Character Studies on how they were both feeling during this incident. Entry for The Lifestream DOT net's Winter Fanworks Contest.
Icicle Inn

 **A Shared Sorrow**

The air was growing colder the further north they ventured. Down in the Forgotten City they could get by with what little they had been traveling with, but if they were to keep up with Sephiroth, they would need better gear. Cloud made a mental note of this as the party pressed onward.

Yuffie, of course, could not keep her thoughts to herself. "Ugh, it's so cold!" she whined, rubbing her arms for warmth.

"Ahh buck up, kiddo. This is nothin,'" Cid replied, flicking the ash from his cigarette onto the ground as they walked.

"Nothing? It's freezing out here! And it's only getting worse!" she countered.

"Doesn't bother me none," added Barret with a shrug.

"Yeah? Well I can't stand it," Yuffie huffed.

"It's a pity you don't have a nice fur coat like mine," Nanaki teased, strutting with his head and tail held high. "I don't feel a thing!"

"Or a stuffed body like mine. I don't get cold," added Cait Sith.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," Yuffie huffed, slouching as she walked.

Cloud glanced up at Tifa, who had been walking a few feet away. She met his gaze, wrinkling her nose in amusement at their friends' conversation. He did not return the sentiment, but he couldn't deny that it did set him more at ease.

"Think this is funny, Tifa? Chocobo Butt?" Yuffie asked.

At this Tifa laughed out loud, causing Cloud to turn his face forward with a frown. "Well we are going north into the mountains. It'll get cold," he stated very matter-of-factly.

"Ugh…" she whined.

Tifa fell back and put an arm around Yuffie's shoulders. "Be strong, Yuffie. We'll make it," she said softly, smiling down at the the teen. Yuffie returned the expression in kind.

Cloud closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting his frustrations subside. This was the first real conversation the party had had today. Ever since they had set out from the Forgotten City a heavy somberness hung over the group that none of them had the heart to mention. They all felt it; they all shared in the sadness. Cloud himself had wondered how it would even be possible to press on, yet somehow they were, and everyone had agreed to still follow him.

The sound of footsteps came from behind him and off to the side. When Cloud looked up there strode Vincent, meeting his gaze. "We'll be crossing into the permafrost region within the next few hours."

Cloud turned his head forward, looking up as he took a deep breath. "I know."

"We'll need to stop for supplies. Warmer clothing."

Cloud turned his head back to look at him. "I know. We'll stop in the next town, stock up."

"We should be nearing Icicle Inn. It's a resort town. They'll have lots of shops," said Cait Sith.

Cloud nodded. "We'll stop there, then."

—

Elena stared out the window of the truck, seeing the scenery pass by despite not actually watching it. She kept playing recent events over and over again in her mind, unable to suppress the memories no matter how hard she tried.

She remembered being at the Temple of the Ancients. Tseng had remained behind in the temple while she went off to their base camp just outside to radio in an update on their mission. "We have to report to the president," he had said. Always so efficient and professional. But to her, he was more.

"Hey Elena, how 'bout dinner after this job's over?" he had asked. She kept replaying that one question over and over in her mind. Everything after that, however, was a blur.

Base camp. Contacted headquarters to relay their status. "This is Elena. We've found the temple and have gained access." There was more to her status update but she'd have to read the reports in order to remember. No other details committed themselves to her memories, for the next thing she did remember was finding Tseng slumped up against a tree, having stumbled out of the temple and across the bridge. He was bleeding everywhere, barely able to stand.

"Tseng!" she cried, running to catch him before he fell. Try as she might she could not keep him from sliding down the trunk.

"E…Elena…"

"Tseng! What happened!"

His head lolled from side to side as he stumble over his words.

"I don't understand what you're saying. Sir! Hold on! I'll radio for help!"

She made it back to camp and requested an immediate evac, relaying their position. She made it back to Tseng with what bandages they had on hand and a cure materia, but she doubted it was a enough to help with anything this severe. She pressed against the wound to stop the bleeding, tears streaming down her face as she begged Tseng to please hold on.

Then there came a rumbling. The ground shook and the trees swayed all around them. And then it stopped. Not long after she heard voices, and the sound of feet falling quickly on the ground. Elena crouched low and watched, narrowing her eyes. Through the trees she saw them; Avalanche. Were they responsible for what had happened to Tseng?

The truck hit a dip in the road, pulling Elena out of her revery. They would arrive at Icicle Inn shortly.

—

The town of Icicle Inn was covered in a thick blanket of snow that had fallen in the night. In the afternoon sun it was warm enough to walk around outside without a heavy coat, but not by much. Yuffie crouched down in front of the wood-burning stove at the local hostel and reveled in the heat.

"Ahh, so much better," she said. The rest of the group all murmured their agreement.

After securing their lodging Cloud made his way upstairs alone, his mind preoccupied with recent past events. After removing his sword and kicking off his boots he lay down on one of the beds, covering his eyes with is forearm. In his mind all he could see was the flash of light reflected off of Sephiroth's sword as Aerith fell, already dead before Cloud caught her in his arms.

He breathed in and out slowly and deeply, trying not to replay the moment in his mind but unable to keep himself from doing so. Was it all his fault? Had Sephiroth killed her because she was trying to stop him? Or had Sephiroth done it to get at him? Worse, it was almost Cloud's own hand that did the deed. He felt like he was losing himself. The weight of it all almost made him go crazy.

"Hey, you doing okay?" came the soothing sound of a friendly voice. Cloud looked up to see Tifa standing there watching him. Her expression seemed sympathetic.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Cloud sat up, putting all of his weight on one arm behind him.

Tifa approached him and gently sat down on the edge of the bed. "You've been doing a great job so far leading everyone. I just wanted to tell you that."

"Doesn't really feel that way."

She looked away for a moment, trying to think of how to reply. Then, while staring at her hands in her lap, she said, "We're all hurting right now, and I know it isn't easy, but we're all doing the best we can. You're doing the best you can. We're all here, aren't we?"

Cloud looked at her quizzically, unsure of how to respond.

"Just…please remember that. Everything will work out in the end." Tifa stood up from the bed and made to leave the room. "I'm going to take a look around town, see if I can find some winter clothes." She paused by the door and looked back at him. "Let me know if you need anything."

After Tifa had gone Cloud lay back down on the bed. Everything would work out in the end? If only she knew how he felt inside right now.

—

The prognoses for Tseng hadn't been good. Elena's use of materia had prolonged him long enough to last until he could be brought to Junon, but it hadn't been enough to heal him completely.

"These things happen. If you're gonna be a Turk, you gotta be tough," Reno had said. The words did nothing to comfort Elena, but that didn't make them any less true. She remembered sitting beside Tseng's hospital bed, trying to stifle her sobs as the red haired Turk left with Rude.

This was the first time she'd had to deal with this in the Turks. The other more veteran members liked to bust her chops as a newbie, but now she feared she had completely lost what little respect they may have had for her. It made her feel like a silly little child, always needing someone to hold her hand. Until now that someone had been Tseng, but while he remained in a coma she would be on her own.

 _This time I won't fail,_ she thought to herself as she surveyed the town before her.

"Your orders. Ma'am?" asked the infantrymen.

"Set up a blockade at the entrance to the town. I don't want anyone getting in or out without knowing about it." She then pointed at two of the troops in particular. "You two come with me to search the town. Our targets may already be here." They all saluted and set out to do as ordered.

If Avalanche was here, Elena wanted to find them now, and make them pay for what they'd done.

—

Cloud adjusted his suspenders over his new parka, making sure they would still be able to adequately hold his sword. Once he was satisfied with is new cold weather gear he paid the shop keeper and left. The sun was going to set soon, and the temperature outside had begun to drop. The snow that had been melting off of the roofs of the buildings had frozen into long, sharp icicles. Pulling his hood up over his blond hair, he set off down the street.

—

Elena had almost missed it when she saw the figure walking up ahead. He wore a dark hooded parka, blending in with the tourists wandering the street. But what tourist would be walking around with a sword like that? There was only one man she had ever seen with a sword like that. And if he was here, the others should be nearby

"There they are. Hurry!," she hissed at the troopers flanking her on the left and right, taking off down the street.

"Yes Ma'am!" they replied, following behind her.

—

Cloud made his way to the edge of town to get a better view of the passage beyond. He was anticipating a quiet view away from anyone else, but to his dismay came across one of the town locals along the path.

"It's a steep downgrade past here. It's dangerous," the man cautioned.

Cloud did not stop, but instead gave a shrug as he replied, "Thanks, but I'm still going."

The man shrugged back. "I was just trying to be nice." Cloud made no response and continued onward.

However, the next thing the man said made Cloud stop in his tracks. "What the? Who are those people over there? Looks like trouble!"

Cloud spun around in time to see two Shinra infantrymen following behind a blonde-haired woman. As they grew closer he saw that it was Elena of the Turks.

He rolled his eyes. _This should be interesting._

"Cloud!" Elena shouted, short of breath from having run through the town. "I won't let you go any further!"

"What's going on in the mountains to the north?" Cloud asked, crossing his arms.

"It's a secret," Elena spat, not willing to let Cloud dictate the direction of their confrontation. "It really doesn't matter. But you really got guts doin' my boss in like that!" She was slightly crouched in a fighting stance, poised to strike. Her fist began to glow with the energy of her materia. The kindly man who had warned Cloud earlier took off running.

"Boss…? You mean Tseng?" Cloud asked. With everything that had happened the past few days he had nearly forgotten finding him in the Temple of the Ancients.

"Don't play dumb with me! You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Elena cried, launching herself forward fist-first. Cloud easily dodged, leaping up and off to the side, but the Turk didn't let that stop her as she went in for another attack.

"Elena, that wasn't us! Sephiroth did it!" Cloud tried to explain between punches.

"No! Don't think you can fool me, liar!" she screamed, unrelenting in her assault.

"I'm not lying; it was Sephiroth," he said again.

"Don't try to act innocent. I'll never forget it!" Elena leapt up high and came crashing down where Cloud had been, the ex-SOLDIER having dodged just seconds before.

Something about the Turk's last comment seemed to strike a nerve in Cloud. She lunged again, her fist aimed straight for his face. Ducking down, Cloud managed to dodge then push himself up in time to grab her by the forearms. Elena cried out in surprise, struggling to get free from his powerful grasp. The two infantrymen raised their rifles.

"I'm not acting innocent," he said, his voice taking on a low, menacing tone. He realized that he wasn't really sure if he was speaking to her or to himself, and in his surprise he let go of Elena's arms. She stumbled back a few steps in the snow, managing to keep on her feet.

 _Oh man…_ he thought to himself. Now was not the best time to lose his composure.

The two infantrymen stepped forward, rifles still raised. "No, I can handle him," Elena said. The two exchanged a worried glance, then took a step back.

"Look, Sephiroth is the common enemy here. We've all lost someone because of him," Cloud explained, his voice taking on a softer tone this time.

" _You've_ lost someone? You think I care? You think you can just blame Sephiroth and that makes you innocent?" Elena was voicing out loud the thoughts Cloud was keeping hidden inside.

"No, it doesn't," he replied.

Elena gave a frustrated cry, "Looks like talking won't do. You're going to have to feel some pain!"

Cloud looked up in time to see her coming at him, but he made no move to dodge the attack. Elena's fist made impact with his torso, lifting him into the air and sending him flying up the path. He fell onto the packed snow which had become hard from a layer of ice that had formed over the top.

Elena stopped in surprise, staring wide-eyed at where Cloud had fallen. "Why? Why didn't you try to duck?" Cloud did not answer as he slowly lifted himself up off the ground, propped up on his arms.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY TO DUCK?" she screamed.

"You're right, I'm not innocent."

No one said anything after that. Elena remained where she stood, shaking with anger. She had come here to avenge Tseng and yet, there was no vengeance to be had. Not here. Not against him.

Elena wasn't sure why, but at the moment she realized she pittied him. Maybe she believed him. But she realized now what she should have seen back in Junon when she volunteered for this mission; she never should have come. The job should have gone to one of the others. Someone with more experience, someone less emotional. Elena had been too eager to prover herself as a rookie.

She let out another scream, then turned back toward the town, facing the infantrymen. She stood panting for a moment, barely able to keep a handle on her emotions.

"Ma'am?" one of the troops asked.

She stood up straight, doing her best to feign confidence. "There's no way they can climb the Great Glacier anyway. Let's go."

Cloud watched her leave, no getting up to his feet until the three of them had disappeared out of sight.

—

Later on that evening, Elena spoke with Rude over the phone, relaying her report.

"Was Avalanche there?" had asked.

"No. I believe they've already been here and moved on. But I don't see how they could survive out there in the permafrost. It's suicide."

"Hmm…we'll see. Stay there for the time being, in case they come back."

"I will."

"Oh, and Elena? Nice work."

"Thank you."

As she hung up the phone she felt even worse than before.

—

The wind was strong and biting as Cloud surveyed the landscape before them. His thoughts traveled back to his confrontation with Elena the day before, reminding him of something Aerith had said in the Temple of the Ancients.

"I've known him since I was little. There's not a lot of people I can say that about."

They had known each other, and they had both been victims of a mad-man's lust for power. But while Elena herself was absolved of all guilt she was right about one thing: Cloud was not. He was no more innocent than if he really had been the one to do it himself.

"How are you feeling?" Tifa asked, noticing that Cloud had become preoccupied by his thoughts.

"I'm fine," was his reply.

But in reality he knew he was not.

13


End file.
